Friday, 24 April 2009

Hilarity Ensues Episode 3, part 4.

At the direction of the young woman Ruth had observed earlier talking with Argent and the old quartermistress, the Earth-dwellers were taken upstairs and locked in their dressing rooms. There they sat, worried, confused, afraid, staring at nothing and occasionally trying to talk about something to take their mind off things. But it didn't work.

Then there was the tramp of feet in the corridor outside and they were all herded into the green room, men as well as women. The pirates checked that the door to the shuttle bay- the lift, they had once thought- was locked and then they withdrew to the corridor outside the doors. The young woman Argent had addressed as Anne remained, and behind her stood the young man Ruth had noticed yesterday.

"Sit down," Anne said. They did as they were told. "My name be Bonny Anne, Queen Argent`s first officer an', incidentally, her daughter. This be Jimdrick, our apprentice. I know what ye`re thinkin', that he`s a man an' we only take women aboard. Thar be...a bit o' a misunderstanding."

"My nurse- she`s Queen Argent`s quartermistress now, Ruthless Rachel, an' I be th' only survivors on a spaceship th' pirate queen took, oh, fifteen or more years ago when she be jus' startin' ou' in th' piracy business," Jimdrick said. "She took th' option o' joinin' th' crew rather than death, an' t' save me life, she pretended that I be a girl, her daughter. So th' queen let us stay, an' we became part o' th' crew."

"My mother be lookin' fer someone t' look after me, what wi' all th' piratin' nay bein' conducive t' good mothering," Bonny Anne added. "I think she liked th' idea thar would be another child fer me t' play with."

"But when me voice started t' break, an' me beard started growin', they realised what had happened. Queen Argent be so angry she nearly killed us both. But by then I`d been formally apprenticed t' them. So she decided that rather than kill me, 't would be a worse punishment never to release me from th' apprenticeship, never to let me qualify as a full crewmember, never to let me leave. I be stuck here, part o' Argent`s crew, as good as a prisoner, nay hope, nay life o' me own."

"She can be cruel, can me mother," Bonny Anne agreed. "That`s what ye`ve got t' expect if ye join up. She`s more cruel than any other pirate cap'n- crueler than Greenbeard, or Cap`n Quartz, or th' Dread Pirate Bobby. Maybe because she`s a woman, an' men dasn't expect 't o' a lass, but we can be crueler than men if they let us. An' thar`s nay one t' stop her."

"Why is she so cruel?" asked Rachel. "Why did she become a pirate?"

"And why are there only women in her crew?" Charlotte added.

"`Tis all part o' th' one story," Bonny Anne said. "When she be young- about sixteen- her father tried t' marry her off t' some rich young man. But she spake she wouldna be havin' 't. Th' suitor came an' tried t' convince her t' marry him, but she be adamant. So eventually he got mad an' raped her. She told her father, but hejus' spake that now she`d be havin' t' marry th' rich man.

"So she ran away from home an' stowed away on a spaceship goin' t' th' same planetary system we`re headin' fer now, Caribbeana Minor. Thar she stowed away on another ship, but found ou' too late that 't be a pirate ship, under command o' Cap`n Jacques Swallow. Well, when he found th' lass', he took pity on her an' taught her th' trade. But one night when they all be drunk he took advantage o' her, then when she found that she be pregnant he denied 't be his an' tried t' kill her. Well, he`d trained her too well, an' 't be her that killed him. She ordered all th' men off th' ship, an' vowed that from then on she`d only voyage wi' lasses.

"It took a while t' earn her reputation, but now she`s th' most feared swashbuckler in th' Galaxy, an' that`s nay mean claim. Thar`s a strict code that governs how th' ship be run; nay men on board 'ceptin' prisoners, nay romantic liaisons wi' men, all th' crew be havin' t' forswear mankind, on accoun' o' they only create trouble. All her pirates be true t' her, true t' th' code, an' true t' one another. Break th' code, an' if ye`re lucky ye`ll walk th' plank. I say lucky, on accoun' o' thar be things Queen Argent`ll do that be worse than death."

"You may lay to that," said Jimdrick.

"What do you mean, walk the plank?" Tom asked.

"Pushed ou' into space, unprotected. Do ye know how long 't takes t' die in a vacuum?" The listeners shuddered. "Or ye might be keel hauled, thrown ou' into space on a line. Ye may be pulled back in before ye die...or ye may nay. Or if ye`re really lucky, ye could be marooned- left alone on a deserted planet wi' nay way o' escape an' only a little food. An' one shot in yer laser gun..."

No one said anything. "That`s what will happen if thar`s any trouble," Bonny Anne said. "Now, I be assumin' none o' ye ha' been t' space before? Ye dasn't know how th' ship works?" They shook their heads. "Then I dasn't be seein' that ye`ll be any trouble. I`ll be havin' th' doors at either end o' this corridor locked, so ye can move about. I be nay as cruel as me mother." She smiled at them. "Tomorrow we`ll land atSindia West, along wi' me mother`s ship, th' Amazon. Thar`s somethin' thar we want t' collect." She and Jimdrick exchanged a knowing look, then left the room.

The others looked at each other. "I'm not sure she is less cruel," Ernest said. "She's clever, and knows that you can control people by fear as well as pain."

"Shh," Emma quietened him, as Jimdrick came back into the room with a box of food.

"Ye needn`t be afeared o' me," Jimdrick said. "I be nay fan o' Queen Argent`s. Ye`ve heard me story. If 't wasn`t fer Anne I`d try t' escape, I wouldna e'en care if Argent found ou' an' killed me."

"If it wasn't for Anne?" Emma asked.

"I love her," Jimdrick said sadly. "She`s me captain`s daughter, an' I love her. But I daren`t speak t' her about 't. E'en if Anne could possibly love me in return, how could I put her life in danger by speakin'? If Argent got t' hear...she`d kill me, an' maybe Anne too. An' if Anne didna love me...she`d tell Argent, an' then I would die but I wouldna care. Without Anne, life be worthless." He put the box down and left.

"Poor lad," Agnes said.

The story continues...

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