Hilarity Ensues Episode 9, part 6

   While Zoe and the ninja were gone the prisoners had nothing to do except to try to keep calm.  Will and the Bognorian councillor tried to work out where they were from the equipment in the room.  The others just stood in their corner, nervously watching the slowly awakening ninjas and pirates.  They did not have Will's confidence in his hypnotic ability, despite having experienced it themselves.

   It seemed ages before Zoe and her escort returned, but in fact it was not long.  She bore with her two huge flasks, and a stack of drinking beakers.  The ninja was carrying the same.

   Will stood in front of the chief ninja and the pirate queen.  "You will order all your people to drink to the alliance you have formed," he said.  Immediately the chief ninja switched on the intercom.  "All astroninjas and pirates will drink to the friendship between our two peoples.  Drinks will be served at the canteen next to the control room.  All personnel are to report there immediately."  He handed the microphone to Queen Argent, who said; "And that goes fer yee too, me brave lasses.  Splice th' mainbrace!"

   "I didn't think pirates really said that," Agnes whispered to Ruth.  "Not space pirates, at least!"

   Zoe, still in her pirate garb, went with one of the ninjas to serve the sleeping draught to the rest of the combined crews.  Another ninja served out the drink to those in the control room.  The prisoners watched as the ninjas and pirates succumbed to the draught, at first laughing and talking freely, and then slowly sinking to the ground, rubbing their eyes bemusedly, and falling into sleep.  Before long there was not a single person awake in the room apart from the prisoners.

   Zoe came back in shortly after.  "All asleep," she said.  "There may still be one or two guards around the corridors, though."

   "We'll just have to chance that," Will said.

   "Nice work," Ernest said, straightening up from where he had been examining one of the sleeping pirates.  "What's in that stuff?"

   "Herbs and spices- and quite a lot of alcohol," Zoe said.  "It was sometimes useful at school."

   "They taught you things like that?" Agnes said.  "That beats chemistry lessons!"

   "Oh, not in lessons," Zoe said, smiling.

   "Anyway, let's get out of here while we can," Will said.

   Quickly they made their way to the docking bay, fortunately meeting nobody on the way.  They were all glad to be back aboard the Hilarity once more, and before long they were leaving the space station behind them.

   "The oxy-hydra draught lasts for twelve hours," Zoe said.  "We've got a good start on them."  She adjusted some controls.  Will was peering at a screen next to her.

   Ernest looked at them, and then cleared his throat to speak.  "Can I just ask one question?" he said.  "It may seem silly and insignificant, I dare say, but- where are we going?"

   Platorza Portoran, the Bognorian lord, looked quickly at Will.  "Sir, your people need you!" he said.

   Will looked from him to the others, and then at Zoe and back to the others.  "I am sorry," he said quietly to Portoran, "My heart longs to return to my people, but I have other responsibilities too.  I kidnapped these people, and brought them into a danger which is no concern of theirs.  I must do what I can to amend that, and to see that they are safe."

   The Bognorian lord looked to Zoe with a mute appeal for her to intervene, but she shook her head.  "He's right, I'm afraid," she said.

   The Earth-dwellers looked at one another.  While Platorza Portoran fell to his knees and began to pour fourth remonstrances in Bognorian that they could not understand, they gathered together and and began to speak and whisper vehemently among themselves.

   Eventually they reached a decision, and turned back to the others.  Will and Zoe were still hunched over the controls, tight lipped, while the Bognorian nobleman appeared to have been overcome with tears.  Ernest, as ever the spokesperson, stepped forward.

   "First of all, thanks for what you said just now, and for your decision earlier to put us before your own wishes.  If it hadn't been for that, we probably wouldn't be saying this now.  But things have changed since you kidnapped us, and since we started getting imprisoned.  It wasn't our quarrel, but the way your enemies have been willing to use us, who are innocent of anything in this matter, to get their way has made it our quarrel.  After all, you brought us to be ambassadors for earth, and we feel that we have to live up to people's expectations of us.  From what you say, we have a reputation to maintain on behalf of our planet.  So let's make a bargain.  Our parents and friends presumably already think we're dead, so what difference will a few days or even weeks away make?  We will agree to go to Bognor with you, and help you, if we can.  In return- well, you were on earth long enough to know what they think about people who claim to have been abducted by aliens.  When we return, you will send with us indisputable proof that aliens exist, so that people don't think we're mad.

   Will's eyes were shining now like the stars in his display screen.  "You're sure?" he said eagerly.  Ruth and the others nodded.

   "Since we were brought here to be ambassadors or advisers on behalf of earth, we might as well start by trying to oppose illegitimate government."

   "Thank you- thank you so much," Will and Zoe said.

   "Just one problem though," said Ernest, "How on earth- or off it- are we going to do it?"

The story continues...