Hilarity Ensues Episode 9, part 3

   The atmosphere in the room changed immediately.  It was as if a bowstring, pulled back as far as it could go and filled with potential energy from the tension it was under, had suddenly been released.  The sense of relief was palpable.  

   "You both agree to that?" the chief ninja asked.  

   "Yes," Zoe said.  

   "Very well.  Your escort will be arranged once our client's coup on Bognor is complete.  Until then, you will remain here in case he has other need of you- if things seem to be going badly for him, he may need hostages."

   He turned and left.

   "I hope that was the right decision," Will said somberly. 

   "Thank you," Ruth said, looking from him to his sister.  "I know it's maybe not what you wanted to do, but thank you so much."

   Zoe shrugged.  "Will's the elder, the King's Heir.  Even if I'm not certain he's right, I have to respect him.  Besides, he's right.  It's not going to help our people if they kill us, so what's the point?"

   "It may not make much difference, if they're going to use us as hostages," Will warned.  "If his coup isn't as successful as he thinks it will be, if the king's troops are closing in on him, for example, he can tell them to back off or he'll kill us.  Or if they defeat him he can use us to bargain for his safety.  You're not home or safe yet, I'm afraid."

   

   The days wore on, indistinguishable from one another.  The prisoners had little concept of the passage of time.  They were bored, and beginning to feel claustrophobic in a space that was none too big for so many of them.   

   Not the least fearful aspect of their imprisonment was the attempts that some of the lads made to cheer everyone up.  The Gilbert and Sullivan society- or certain of its members- had always had a reputation for having a terrible sense of humour, and this now came out of its lair to prey upon a captive audience.  Certain members of the society could make a single 'joke' last half a day.  Before long, if you said the words 'shire horse' 'mad monk' or 'pink gorilla' to anyone in those rooms they would either swear madly at you, or attack you viciously.  One endless day it became too much and the jokers were banished to one of the sleeping areas and forbidden from coming out until they had exhausted their supply of anecdotes, puns and questions about how many members of different sections of the orchestra it took to change a light bulb.

   "There once was a very adventurous cornflake-" were the last words heard to emanate from that room before the door was firmly closed on the half-dozen or so people who had been the worst offenders.  It was several hours before that room appeared to fall suspiciously silent.  Then there was a tap on the door.

   Emma opened it part of the way.  "Have you finished?" she asked.  Ernest nodded at her contritely.  

   "Nothing more about viola players, or taxidermists?"  He nodded again.

   "Sure?"

   "Well, how many G&S members does it take to change a light bulb?"

   Emma shut the door, then opened it again.  "Well?"

   "One to hold the bulb, and a few to shout 'More wine!' until the room starts spinning."

   She shut the door again firmly.  It was another hour before they let them out.  Even then they weren't completely cured, and occasionally someone would ask; "How many of the cast of Wicked does it take to change a light bulb?  None, because it's too high for all of them."  But the threat of being shut up again seemed to have at least slowed down the rate at which these pearls of wisdom appeared.

   Not long after that there was another distraction from the monotony of imprisonment.  The door was opened and another prisoner was pushed in.  He appeared to be confused, and looked as though he had been ill-treated for some time.  If there had been any gravity he would have fallen, but since there was none he just floated in a rather stumbling way.

   At the sight of him Will and Zoe hurried forward to help him, and began speaking to him in their own language, which none of the earth-dwellers could understand.  They looked at each other, puzzled.  On hearing Will and Zoe's voices the man looked up, and recognising them he tried to kneel, but the weightlessness and their hands prevented him.  The man looked up at Will and spoke a short sentence.  

   Will stood stock still, his hands falling from the strangers' arms.  He stared at him for a moment, then looked at Zoe.  She seemed no less shocked than her brother, but quickly asked a question of the man, still in Bognorian, which he answered.  They both looked at Will.  Eventually he came out of his shocked state, spoke to the man and he and Zoe helped him into one of the sleeping areas.  The others began to talk and speculate as to who he was and what had happened.  

    After a few minutes Will and Zoe came out and everyone stopped talking and looked at them.  Will still looked shocked, and struggled to speak.

   "That is Platorza Portoran, a Bognorian nobleman and councillor.  He was left Bognor a week ago on a secret mission to find us, but his ship was attacked by the astroninjas and he was captured and beaten, because he would not tell them what his mission was.  He had come to tell me- to say that- our father is dead.  I am king of Bognor."

   No one was quite sure what to say.  'Congratulations' seemed out of place when it was his father's death that had caused this to happen.  

   "I am glad I didn't know before I made the choice," Will said, not looking at any of them.  "As king it would have been harder than it was to surrender the trust of my people and accept that this usurper had defeated me."

   "But what could you have done?" Adam said.  "What would have been different?"

   "I should have died.  Look at Portoran, he was beaten and nearly killed in the service of the king.  Others back on Bognor are fighting for my cause, even now.  How could I have saved my own life, and made all their sacrifice worthless?"

   "You saved us," Emma said.  "Is that worthless?"

   "And we aren't dead," Zoe said.  "It's too late to worry about all that now.  And while we're alive we still have a chance of getting back to Bognor.  We've got to escape."

The story continues...