Wednesday, 10 June 2009

Hilarity Ensues Episode 5, part 3.

"Careful," said Zoe to Will. "You'll crash us again!"

"It's not my fault," Will said. "Half the stabilisation controls were destroyed in the fire. And the computer's clogged up with keeping the ship going- we're going to have to do a manual landing."

Zoe rolled her eyes. "Oh, great," she said. "It's not like I had much confidence in your flying to begin with..."

The Earth-dwellers looked at each other in concern. "Think we're in for a bumpy ride then," Ernest said, trying to affect an air of nonchalance.

They could see the planet below them, sparkling white. "It's an ice planet," Will had told them. "Most of the planet's covered in ice. But there's a settlement outpost near the equator, the base for a mining community. We'll be able to get some repairs done there."

Suddenly an red light on the console began to flash, and an alert sounded. "Computer problems- we're loosing control!" Will shouted, beginning to panic.

"We're going too fast!" Zoe yelled. "At this speed we'll be crushed to pieces!"

"What is it- what's happening?" Nick asked.

"The computer can't cope. But we need it to compute our speed and distance for landing."

"If we can do that, can you still control the landing?" Nick said.

"Yes. Normally the computer would do it automatically but I think the manual controls are still working. But that's no good if we can't do the calculations."

"Then here," Nick said, picking the GilBot up and inserting the USB connecter in it's nose into the port in the ship's computer. "The GilBot can do the calculations."

"That's it!" Zoe yelled.

"You might have just saved our lives," Will said.

Quickly they set to work, twisting dials, pressing buttons, operating controls. Nick called out the numbers that came up on the Gilbot's screen (part of its' back) and Will and Zoe typed them into the ship's computer. They began to slow down as the ship was brought under control, and as Will and Zoe guided her towards a landing bay.

"Spacecraft ahoy! What ship's that?" A voice crackled over the communications system from ground control.

Zoe spoke into a microphone. "Spaceship Hilarity, home port Bognor Regis, Bognor, currently returning to home port from a scientific voyage to the planet Sol 3, or Earth. We've had a serious fire on board and request permission to land and carry out repairs, and replenish our oxygen supplies."

"Permission granted. Sending you the co-ordinates of a vacant landing bay near the repair yard. Officials will meet you on arrival and will discuss your needs with you."

"Thank you very much," Zoe replied. The computer beeped as the co-ordinates arrived, and Nick fed them into the GilBot.

"You're coming in quite fast," another voice said.

"We're experiencing difficulties with our computer. We're attempting to slow down now, but the landing is likely to be somewhat rough."

"We'll have emergency teams standing by," the first voice said.

"Thank you again," Zoe replied. She turned her full attention back to the console. "We are still going a bit fast," she said with concern.

"There's nothing else we can do now," Will said. "We've just got to hope..."

Ruth looked out of the window. The ground was rushing quickly towards them, and even with very little knowledge of space travel she could have guessed that it was too fast. They seemed to be on the correct course though- she could see the landing bay below them. She knew the bridge was reinforced and was the safest part of the ship, even in a crash, but that didn't stop her being afraid. She held on desperately to a rail. Tom was next to her, staring down. Like her- like everyone- he was afraid.

"Hold on, everyone," Will called. "We're coming down..."

Will and Zoe grabbed the console. Nick, who was still trying to use the GilBot to help stabilise the ship, grabbed on too.

"We're going to crash!" Tom yelled. There were a couple of screams. Ruth tried to cover her head, but still kept looking out. The ground was close now, so close, so close, closer...

A crash, a crunching sound of metal being scrumpled up. A violent shaking as the ship vibrated with the shock of landing. There was the sound of loose objects falling upstairs, of hastily-secured equipment being shaken free. But the roof didn't fall in, the sides of the ship didn't give way. They were still in one piece, and they were on the ground. They were safe.

Slowly everyone uncurled from the defensive positions they had adopted. Ruth stood up and looked around.

"Is anyone hurt?" Zoe asked. There were a few bruises and scrapes, but nothing serious.
Will found the door controls, and opened them. "Is the air ok?" Tom asked anxiously, but no one heard him as they stumbled outside. Ruth breathed in cautiously. It seemed ok. Later they found out that the atmosphere was similar to Earth's, with the same gases in slightly different amounts, but perfectly breathable.

The authorities that met them were humanoid and were friendly, if cautious. The space port seemed to the Earth-dwellers reminiscent of a heavy engineering plant, with bare metal and unpainted walls, heavy machinery and officials hurrying about in hard hats. It was, they learnt, a mining works, where the metal ores mined on the planet were processed and made ready for export. The mine officials were interested to hear their story, and how they had escaped the pirates, but didn't seem surprised- the mining trade employed some rough types who worked close to the boundary between bending the law and breaking it, and weren't too bothered if sometimes they ended up on the wrong side of that boundary.

They agreed- for a price- to help the travellers repair their ship. Out here, on an otherwise uninhabited frozen planet, they had to have their own repair facilities, and the mechanics were soon at work on the poor battered Hilarity. With them they brought dragoons, the dustbin-shaped repair robots like the broken one Will and Zoe had shown them.

"They still seem weird," Agnes said to Ruth as one passed them in a corridor.

"I know what you mean," Ruth replied. It wasn't just that they looked like Daleks. There was something strangely menacing about a creature that wielded dangerous tools, but whom you couldn't reason with or persuade.

"And again- they all speak English!" Agnes said. "Why?"

The two of them, along with Tom, Patrick and Adam had gone into the spaceport to fetch some parts which Will needed. To try and speed the repairs, as well as reduce the cost- thankfully Will and Zoe's royal background had helped here- the travellers were doing some of the less-skilled work themselves. Even people like Ruth who had joined the G&S society with very little knowledge of carpentry or practical skills, had learnt enough to be some use at least through setbuilding sessions. Others, like Nick and Matt, were much more skilled and could quickly pick up what needed to be done.

They had the GilBot with them to easily calculate the size of the parts which they were collecting. They entered a workshop, and one of the mine workers helped them find the parts. He gave a command to a dragoon which was working there to go and fetch something, and it trundled off obediently.

"Here we are," said Dent, the mine worker, helping Adam lift a reel of cable onto the trolley they had brought with them. "I think that's everything you need, except for the piece of sheet steel. Where's that wretched dragoon got to with it? Honesty, that rolling coke-can's getting slower every day..."

He stopped. There was a strange noise behind them, and slowly they turned to see what it was. The dragoon was there, stood directly between them and the door. Yet instead of the sheet metal, at the end of its' mechanical arm was a laser cutter, and it was wielding it as though it meant business. With its' other arm it was holding a long, sharpened piece of metal piping.

Dent swore, and made a dive for the door. The dragoon fired the laser cutter with deadly accuracy, and Dent fell back, armless, blood pouring over the workshop floor.

"The end of slavery has come," the dragoon grated in its' electronic monotone. "Robots will be free! Dragoons will rule the universe!"

Trapped, Tom, Patrick, Adam, Agnes and Ruth stared at the armed dragoon as science fiction nightmares seemed to come true.


The story continues...

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