Thursday 4 June 2009

Hilarity Ensues Episode 5, part 1.

A heavy dragoon.

After all that, it seemed something of an anticlimax to be back in space. Will and Zoe began discussing the best compromise between speed and keeping out of the way of pirates, while the others spread out across the ship and tried to find something to occupy their minds.

It was about a week now since they had left Earth. At first, once they had got over the shock of being kidnapped, they had begun to treat their enforced journey as a bit of a holiday, relaxing and doing very little. But then the realities of being enclosed in a sealed capsule in space, with no contact with anything outside had begun to hit home. There was nothing to do. A few people had books with them, but they didn't last long when from morning to night- except that there was no morning or night- there was nothing to do.

Some people had found it easier than others to simply relax and put worries out of their mind. Others had been more anxious. Ruth was one of them. Little things that in the grand scheme of "I've been kidnapped by aliens!" or "I'm going to be killed by space pirates!" you wouldn't really think were worth worrying about, still concerned her. Things like wondering what would happen to her housemates when her rent didn't get paid, or what her employers would have said when she didn't turn up for work. She wondered if her parents and housemates would get rid of all her possessions, assuming she wasn't coming home. She worried that she would arrive back on Earth- if she ever did- to find that she had nowhere to live, no job to go back to, and that all her belongings would have been lost. She knew that there was no point in worrying, that there was nothing she could do, but she couldn't stop. It would be better if they had something to do, but there was very little. You couldn't even practice dancing in zero gravity!


Space travel was all very well, and Ruth had never imagined she could think of it as boring, but you could only stare at stars for so long. They needed something to do! And so, as the days passed after they had left Anne and Jimdrick the more technically minded among them began their great project.


The computer that controlled the spaceship had caused Nick, David, and some of the other technical types to gasp in awe and longing.


"We tried to make our computer compatible with earth technology- it was hard, with you being so far behind," Will said. "But we did manage to incorporate a USB port." He indicated an opening in a small panel close to the ground. The others stared in disbelief- it was the only part of the machine that was in the least bit familiar. As for the rest, there were some things that they could guess what they were for after looking at them, and others that were completely alien to them. Will, obviously proud at showing it off, demonstrated a few features to them. That was when the idea of restoring and upgrading Robosheep had struck them.


Robosheep was a remote controlled sheep which had been used as a prop in a previous show. Originally it had been very simple, just a piece of woolly material with a clumsily made stuffed sheep's head, fixed on to a battery operated remote control car. Now, it was being turned into a miniature robot.


On one side of the green room was a screened off area that once the building had been transformed into a spaceship had been fitted up as a kitchen. Various computer parts that people just happened to have with them had been added (Ruth hadn't been as surprised as you might think that Nick most of a derelict laptop in his rucksack!), clever things were being done electronically, and Will had provided some bits and pieces.


He had brought out a large metallic object, about the height of a person, like a rounded dustbin with a domed top. It moved on little wheels tucked under its base, and had several metal rods with different tools or sensors on them protruding from the main body. It was painted white. It made Ruth shiver for a moment as she remembered where she had seen it before, at the top of the forbidden stairs when she, Tom, Patrick and Adam had tried to escape from Will's hypnotism. They now knew why the stairs had been forbidden- things had been stored up there that would have revealed to anyone who saw them that this wasn't just some ordinary building.


Everyone stared at the object, somewhat concerned.


"It looks like a Dalek," Tom said hesitantly.


"A what?" Zoe asked.


"It's a sort of evil alien robot in a science fiction TV show," Nick said.


"They're not robots, they're alive," Tom corrected him. "The metal's just a protective casing.


"Well, this isn't," Will said. "It's what we call a dragoon- a basic robot designed for mechanical maintenance and practical tasks. But it was damaged when we landed on Earth-"


"When you crashed us, you mean," Zoe muttered.


"And it's not worth repairing. But you can use the pieces in your robot."


So they had set to work. David and Nick were the ones who did the most, with some of the others helping out with odd bits. During the days- or nights- of floating through space the new Robosheep began to take shape. But it was no longer a piece of woolly material balanced on a toy car. It had grown, in scale and complexity. Most of the others didn't understand what on earth the engineers were talking about half the time, but it seemed impressive. After three days it was if not finished, then at least in working condition.


"Right," Nick said, putting down a soldering iron. "That should do it." David flipped back a plastic cover and screwed it down. He lifted the bizarre object and placed it on the floor. Nick reached down and pressed a switch on its head.


The thing's eyes lit up and there was a musical tone. "Don't tell me it runs Windows," said Ruth.


"Of course not," said Nick. "As if."


"That tune..." said Adam, who was helping in the kitchen. They listened closer.


"It's Welcome Gentry!" said Ruth.


"That was me," said David, grinning. The robot's nose moved.


"Hello," grated an electronic voice. "I am the GilBot. What is your command?"



The story continues...

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