Wednesday, 4 November 2009

Hilarity Ensues Episode 10, part 7.


   The travellers looked at each other in confusion.  Will sat down on the steps to the platform.  "So I am really human- I am from Earth!" he said dazedly, looking at Zoe.  


   "You're still my brother to me," she said.  


   "But what am I going to do?" he began, but there was a shout behind them.


   They turned round.  Friderts had jumped down from the platform and knocked the embracing women to the ground.  "You double-crossing hag!" he shouted, trying to strangle the old nurse.  "You told me the child died of space-sickness!"


    Queen Argent was quick to restrain him, and the old woman looked up at him from the floor.  "I lied," she said, struggling to breathe.  "I passed off a doll as the baby, a doll I painted the green of space-sickness so that no one would come near for fear of infection.  And when I told you it had died you just flung it out into space and returned home as quickly as you could.  And there's an end of all your lies and plots and blackmails!"  She grabbed the quartermistress's weapon.  Queen Argent and the quaretermistress reached out to stop her, but it was too late.  She fired at Friderts, who slowly sank to the floor.  The chief ninja bent down to him.


   "Dead," he said.


   "He should have stood trial," said Zoe.  "Still, I hope a court will show more leniency towards the old nurse than he ever did to that poor child."      


   "So the prince- no, king- of Bognor should really be Jimdrick?" Agnes asked incredulously.  Zoe shook her head.  "Our monarchy is elective- the Senate chooses who of the close relatives of the former monarch will rule after them.  Will was chosen as his father's heir.  But now- it is for the Senate to decide."


   The members of the Senate had been huddled together further down the hall, whispering together.  One of them now came forward to speak for them.  "This prince who was stolen is indeed a legitimate heir to the late king, but as he has not been brought up here we do not think he will be the best person to rule as he will have no understanding of our governance or culture.  Although the man we call Prince Rawerkj is not of this planet, he has been brought up as the king's heir, and has proved his worth, and if he wishes he may still rule us."


   Will seemed to make a decision.  "No," he said.  "I'll stand down."  


   "Are you sure?" Zoe said, looking at him.  


   "I am," he said.  "You'll make a much better monarch than I would.  And I can be free to return to Earth, or at least to visit."


   The nobleman had turned back to the Senate, and once again he came forward with their decision.  He knelt before Zoe.  "Then will you, princess and undoubted heir in both blood and upbringing, become our queen?" 
   "I will," Zoe said.


   "All hail Queen Jegsdda!  Long live the Queen!"




   A month later, the coronation feast for Queen Jegsdda was held in that same hall.  In seats of honour at the top table sat the travellers.  They had been treated very well during the preceding weeks, and had spoken to many of the ministers of state and the country's leaders, all curious to know what life on Earth was like.  They had been amused and bemused at the respect Earth was regarded with.


   "How do people here know so much about Earth?" Ruth had asked Will one day.


   "And how come they speak English?" Agnes had asked.


   "We love the BBC," Will had replied.  "The whole galaxy does.  There are long distance repeater satellites stationed near Earth to pick up the signal and broadcast it back to us."  He had turned on a computer screen and shown them part of an episode of Dr Who which was being broadcast.  "It's so great," he said.  The travellers had looked at one another incredulously.


   A full overhaul of the Hilarity had been carried out, and she was ready to set off again.  The travellers, including Will, were to leave in her the next morning to return to Earth.  Ruth was glad to be returning, but she was also sad to be leaving Bognor.  After all they had been through to get here, she knew that her life back on Earth wouldn't be quite the same as it had been before.  After the adventures of the last few weeks the daily routine of get up, go to work, come home, eat, sleep, with occasional intervals of singing would seem boring- more than it had before.  What sort of world were they going back to?  One deep in recession, high unemployment, the university administration being a pain in the sub-committee and little to look forward to in the future but more of the same dreary grey days with just the occasional burst of sun.  When there was so much else out there!  


   She shook herself and turned back to the celebrations.  She felt guilty that part of her didn't really want to go home, and somehow disloyal to her home, but she knew that she had to return.  


   At the top of the hall, Zoe stood up and everyone fell silent.  


   "My friends, counsellors and subjects," she began, and Ruth was surprised to hear that she was still talking English.  Most of the ceremonies during the day had been in Bognorian.  "Thank you for your company today and for your congratulations.  But I would not be standing here today if it was not for the help of many people, most of all my friends who travelled with us from Earth.  Tomorrow they return to their homes, and I have here gifts for them as thanks and compensation for all the dangers they have undergone."  She beckoned to some servants, who came forward and placed a small case in front of each of the Earth-dwellers.  Inside each was a small but advanced looking computer.  


   "The galactic interconectwork is being expanded to cover Earth so you'll be able to contact us, using these," Zoe continued.  "And they are compatible with Earth technology and computers.  And you'll have the Hilarity.  You will all be welcome to return, if you choose."


   The travellers looked at each other.  Ernest stood up.  "Thank you," he said.  "And we will always welcome you to Earth."


    The feast ended soon after that.  The next morning Zoe came down to the spaceport to say her final goodbyes.  Parting from Will, who she had grown up with, was the hardest, but she was evidently sad to be parting from the Earth-dwellers too.  


   "I've got one more present for you," she said to Tom, handing him a parcel.  Opening it he found a new scarf, longer than ever, in the colours of the flag of Bognor."  


   "Thank you," he said, draping it around his neck several times.


   "That'll be useful if we need to tie anyone up on the way home," Adam said, smiling.


   Zoe held Ruth back for a moment as the others began to enter the ship.  "One thing I've got to ask," she said.  "Are you and Patrick a couple?"  Ruth smiled, an odd little smile with something of exasperation, something of humour and something else.  "No, we're just friends," she said.  "Although you're not the first to ask."   


   Saying a final goodbye she turned and entered the ship, and within a few minutes she was standing with Tom, Agnes and  Adam looking down as the familiar yet strange green-blue planet shrank below her.  Of course she was glad to be going home, but she knew that, despite all the dangers she had been through, she would miss life in space.


   Patrick came up beside them.  "OK?" he asked her.  She nodded.  For a moment they all stood there in silence, then Patrick spoke.  


   "There once was a very adventurous cornflake..."


   "No!" Adam said.

  "Ok then, have you heard about the pink gorilla?" Patrick said irrepressibly.


   "Nooo!!!" Agnes and Tom joined Adam's exclamation of disgust.


   Ruth winked at Patrick, and began to speak.  "Well...Cecil is a caterpillar, and Cecil is my friend..."





The End.

1 comment:

  1. Noooooo! not the end! Haha, I loved the BBC reference, and "Are you and Patrick a couple?" :D

    ReplyDelete